yep

sometimes I wonder, what I'm gonna do, cuz there ain't no cure for the mid-semester blues...

( :

yeah, I know it's a little earlier for that. But hey - mid is relative.

today, wednesday, September 23, 2009

1. Clean Room.

2. New Testament Homework.

3. Ecology homework.

4. Sleeeep


also, at some point, drive over to the riddles and water my plants.


Yay!

College - week 1.5

I smell like sweat. That makes sense, since I just went running, but I feel like it works well as a metaphor for a large percentage of my mental and emotional processes right now.
I spent my first week back at BYU battling apprehension and fear and getting tripped up by my slow summer pace and the slippery slope of self-absorption. However, I AM BACK! In the saddle, that is. I know this semester will bring plenty of challenges, but, in the words of the wise woman Arlene Ludlow, you must act as if it were impossible to fail. Plus I like school (mostly). ( :
I know the basics - sleep enough, exercise daily, eat right, have a set time to study for each class, be where you are (including dealing with problems instead of beating yourself up for having them), take good notes, give yourself spiritual time to meditate, enough time to study well but efficiently for classes and exams, make time to serve others, and let's not forget the key - Simplify. So, like I said, I think I've got the basics - I just have trouble implementing them.
Maybe it all does come back to the key - simplify. But how to do so when your life is naturally complex? My plan is this - write things down, do them to your best and most efficient ability, and focus on one thing at a time.
Let me add an important note to this dialogue by saying that I am incredibly lucky.
Also, here's a stream-of-consciousness mini-ode to my apartment -


There is a mountain on your wall. I sit under it, staring at screens and pages of words. I look at it, sometimes, when my eyes are closed and then I remember the reason that I'm here. And just for an instant my eyes open wide and I feel wind on my face and light in my heart and I know possibility - I know peace. And then the rest of my mind catches up to my spirit and I pull my face off the old wooden table and my head drops out of the clouds and seeps back through the 40 year old brick walls and the peeling white paint of my ceiling into my isolated eyesight and I try to remember seeing you as you could be and me as I am.

stars

I've been in California, and I've learned a lot this summer. I've learned a lot things that I didn't (or don't) know - I feel like life is more exciting that way. For example, I learned that another person's actions (whether or not you consider them moral) are not necessarily indicators of their morality; the same experience taught me I want to meet a wider range of people, not make assumptions and go camping more. I've learned that I don't know yet how to wash a car very well. Hopefully that will change this fall. I've learned that I can be responsible for my own actions and resulting happiness or lack thereof. I have not learned to go to bed on time, eat healthy food, or go running on a consistent basis, but I have taked steps towards them. I have learned that the world is a galactic ocean full of things I am completely unaware of. In addition, I now know that I love the movie 'meet me in st. louis,' and I come from a family of people who like a cold house.
I have also found that life is often a process of relearning. I am learning a little bit again of how to walk to the edge of the light and step into the dark, and then keep breathing. I know God is in light - I think that's why he gave us the stars.

The song in my head at the end of finals

Alison Krauss and Union Station - Crazy as Me

I'm used to being alone.
Except for six month playings without rings and phone bills that I've waited for.
This is the life that I choose.
I got no complaints if he is;
if he ain't, I guess he'll send me a rose.

Just don't ask me for the truth if you choose to lie honey.
And don't try to open my door with your skeleton key.
Some folks seem to think I only got one problem.
I can't find nobody as crazy as me.

I still love what I know.
I love to ride alone and sing a song and listen to the radio.
You can ride alone and if you change your mind, well, that's just fine,
But there is somethin' that you got to know.

Just don't ask me for the for the truth if you choose to lie honey.
And don't try to open my door with your skeleton key.
Some folks seem to think I only got one problem.
I can't find nobody as crazy as me.

Just don't ask me for the for the truth if you choose to lie honey.
And don't try to open my door with your skeleton key.
Some folks seem to think I only got one problem.
I can't find nobody as crazy as me.

Grow a garden

I had an idea a few weeks ago that I've been mulling over and I think i'm going to try and research. Since I came to college, I have started to really miss dirt. I know, I know, there's dirt everywhere - but the only dirt I can lay claim to is in a pot. (well, that and the dirt on my skin after I roll around on the grass). Anyway, I have a deep seated urge that won't go away to make something grow. I have an aloe vera plant right now, and that's wonderful, but I wonder if living in apartments is necessarily means you can't have a garden. A little while ago some byu students in married housing rented a plot in orem and are starting to grow a community garden together - that's somewhat along the lines of what I've been thinking. What if BYU got a plot of land, either close to campus or somewhere else, and students could grow fruits and vegetables in it? Even if it was for a class, like the display gardens at BYU Idaho, students who grew the food could either pay for space and then eat what they grew, or BYU could employ students to grow things and then sell the produce. Either way, I think a friday or saturday fruit and vegetable market for BYU students would be SO cool - it would let students practice life skills and grow their own food and save money and connect to each-other and their environment. The market could be on or near campus, or even wherever that land would be that BYU found (I think the closer it is to campus, though, the more people will know about it and come). I talked about this to my mom, and she suggested that students could sell their crafts and other things at a market - paintings, jewelry, etc. I'm sure there are already things like this in Provo, and byu might even have some, but I just don't know about it. Anyway, I think I'm going to do some more pontificating and research, and then talk to BYUSA about it. If I figure out a good plan, I think this is something I'd be very willing to go to bat for. Thoughts, anyone? Anyone at all? Please?

a sentimental and not very well worded post from jessie

SO....

I would like to take this opportunity to announce that from now on, I will be updating my blog weekly. I am going to transition my blogging habits from assignment-status to healthy-fulfilling-habit status. ( :
Today is a friday, and I am contemplating the weekend ahead. It should be full and exciting and busy. I'm going to have to remember to put my homework first. By which I mean Actually and Honestly put it first, so I will enjoy having fun without feeling guilty. That's the plan, anyway. I have a spanish test on monday, which means that following this plan may in fact be very important to me.
Yesterday I was introduced to Miss Saigon and Les Miserables, courtesy wikipedia and youtube. In light of my newly acquired culture, and also because I have a friend who has been playing the guitar a lot lately, I have been contemplating the beauty of when someone is really good at something they love. I think my zen parents would call the genius I am admiring the result of 'flow.' I want another word, though, for my intense reaction to observing said flow. Maybe that feeling of inspiration comes from watching human potential. Maybe it's a survival/mating instinct that draws me to ally myself with someone that is strong and skilled. Maybe, when watching beauty makes feel beautiful inside. ( :


-jessie